Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
