Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
