i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
