I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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