Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize