After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
high people should be assigned attendants
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
