Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
