Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
