i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize