Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
