I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The feeling are messing with the penis
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
