My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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