you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
