Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
