Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
