its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
