I skipped work to stalk him.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
