The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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