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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I bet he comes in French.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
