Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just gargled with NyQuil
A bitchslap is in order.
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