There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
