A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My vagina is very pro this idea
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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