And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
