Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
