all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sext me about skeletons
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
