I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
