there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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