My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize