Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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