I wish I only lived at night.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
