she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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