I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Im part way to drunk.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
