I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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