Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize