Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
