He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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