So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
