woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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