Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
