Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize