I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
