My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
