I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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