We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
