is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
