Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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