help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize