So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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