Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
