is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
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