did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
