i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
