try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
