If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
