I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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