Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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