she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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