i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize