What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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