The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
