Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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