so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
And then he peed in my hair
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