porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
