Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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