FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
