i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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