im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
