he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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