I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
