I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize