Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
