I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
